Biological individual becomes cultural identity

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-heching/are-we-post-sexuality-yet-my-date-with-a-straight-guy_b_1648323.html

So here is a link to a great article written by Dan Heching. Dan is a gay man that use to work in a gay organization. He found another co-worker attractive and wanted to ask him out on a date. He eventually did so and plans fell through only later to be brought up again by his crush. So he followed through and went out on a date with him only to be told at dinner that his crush is a straight guy. He then later finds an article on a dating site where the person getting interviewed was his former crush and he of course was talking about the same date experience as if Heching mislead him in his emails that it was merely for networking purposes.

So with all that said, Heching is upset because he feels mislead and he felt his intentions were clear. While he does agree that sexuality lines should and can be blurred but he feels that his crush being involved in a gay organization needs to "come out" just as he himself felt he had to in the mostly hetero sexual world.  He is using this gay organization they both work in as an inscription device; an environment where Heching feels he is free to assume everyone is gay. He does say that sexuality is shaded with ambiguity but he still can't get over the fact that his crush didn't "Come Out" in what he had seemed to think is an homogenized gay community. Also that fact that he asked him out over work e-mail is an interesting concept, he even talks about it how he asked him out in an work oriented email. Now as I have never worked in a office job, but I feel that most work places would deem this inappropriate. This article has me thinking that this is selling the idea that the gay community feels that "Visitors" (non-gay people) in a mostly gay environment should almost where a name tag for what their sexuality is.  While this article doesn't sell this as an ideal of the gay community as a whole but merely just the personal feelings of one member and maybe reflects something about this organization they worked for.

Heching also talks about how his crush may have even acted gay in the workplace. He says "Hell, he may have even made "playing gay" into a specialty of his in the workplace in order to fit in or make things less complicated." (Heching 1). So now the question is if this is Hetching's own subjectivity as an author of this blog post and fueled by his hurt feelings; so was his crush really "playing gay" or is his own emotions driving this notion? If this is the case that he was mislead by his discursive practices as "playing gay", then how did this phenomenal substrate  of the crush or biological individual gain this or gain a gay cultural identity? Without this other article, it is a one sided he said she said argument. This article is not intended to sell sex but it sells the idea of how the gay dating scene may be in a professional business setting. Also how if in the right environment gay males may feel it is safe to assume their among like minded individuals. It sells the ideals of this small gay organization as a community where it is ok to be involved with co-workers, go on dates with them, ask them out in a work e-mail, and expect/assume they share the same sexuality.